HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY RANDY

Happy birthday Randy!
Wow!!! 50 years old today!
I can't believe you're 50; 49 maybe, but not 50!



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Track star Randy in his teens

Here's something, Randy, to let you know what 50 is going to be like.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE 50 WHEN-

*You first forget names,
then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.
*Your back goes out more than you do.
*Your cardiologist gives you this special diet:
If it tastes good, spit it out.
*Your narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
*You can finally afford the rings you want, but you'd rather no one noticed your hands.
*You wear black socks with sandals.
*Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
*All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
*Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
*Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
*You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
*Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
*You can remember when motorcycles were dangerous and sex was safe!
*You've seen it all, done it all, but can't remember most of it.
*You no longer have to worry about avoiding temptation because it now avoids you.
*According to your best recollection, you don't remember.
*You buy a compass for the dash of your pickup
*You smile all the time because you can't hear a thing anyone is saying.
*You are not grouchy, you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, loud music, kids, and some other things you can't seem to remember right now.
*You're still able to recall where you left your keys, but not what they unlock.


Randy in his 20's

Randy in his 30's


Randy in his 40's

HELPFUL TIPS FOR THE 50'S AND OLDER

Never attempt bending down, except under strict medical supervision.

Avoid the company of young people. They are a sad reminder of your long lost youth.

Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday.

Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger.

Finding your false teeth can be difficult when you mislay your spectacles. Always keep these vital items attached to you by pieces of string.

No one will ever notice your frightful wrinkles if you only go out when it’s dark.

Modern science enables even fifty year old's to have the youthful looks of a teenager – a simple head transplant is all it takes.

Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy.

Take the strain off your tired out memory by labeling all household objects – bed, fridge, television etc.

Look twenty years younger in an instant – borrow a baby and train it to call you ‘daddy’.

Save all hairs that come loose when you brush your hair – one day medical science may develop a means of replanting them.

Try to enjoy your fifties as much as is possible – after all, the horrendous sixties are looming.


Randy hating the 50's because he knows he forgot something for the bike race, he just can't remember what.

What Randy? You say you don't recognize yourself here?
I SAID, YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE YOURSELF HERE?
Well maybe you really are 50.
Happy birthday Sweetheart, and welcome to the 50's.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RANDY

ROADS
Every road we’ve walked,
every path we’ve chosen,
has molded us into the couple that we are.
Through laughter, heartache, tears and joy,
though sometimes taking different paths,
we’ve always walked the road together,
arm in arm, side by side.
Our lives together, intertwined,
would be meaningless if on our own.
The memories we have,
the years together,
the life we’ve shared,
would be shattered if we parted.
I want to keep walking that road of life with you,
always together,
creating more memories,
laughing, happy,
side by side,
no longer taking different paths,
but always walking
that road of life together.
Karen Wrighthouse

Randy,

The thirty years I have spent with you have been the most amazing, wonderful years of my life. I couldn't ask for a sweeter or more loving man to spend my life with. I know we've had our share of hard times over the years, but those times are gone, the past, and I know that the next fifty years are going to be as wonderful, exciting and sweet, or even better than where we are now.
Thank you for putting up with me during those hard times, for staying with me, for loving me and taking care of me.
I love you and am so thankful that God allowed us to meet, fall in love, marry, and spend our lives together, forever.
Happy Anniversary.
Love,

Karen

NOTES ON MARRIAGE

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
***********
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!
-Unknown
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The great question... which has never been
answered... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-Freud
***********
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
***********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred
***********
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
***********
The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-Coleridge
***********
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-Phyllis Diller
***********
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
-Jimmy Durante.
***********
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-Albert Einstein
***********
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
-Woody Allen.
***********
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once.
***********
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
***********
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
***********
A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
-unknown
***********
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
-Anonymous

SEVEN AGES OF THE MARRIED COLD
1st year--The husband says, "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from Tosini's. I've already arranged it with the head nurse."

2nd year--"Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"

3rd year--"Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something--do we have any canned soup around here?"

4th year--"No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!"

5th year--"Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"

6th year--"You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!"

7th year--"For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."